Happy birthday to me.

I turned 40 this weekend, and I'm ready to live my HEA.

When my husband and I started trying for kids, our fertility doctor recommended that we have a cut off date. As in:

“If we didn’t have kids by the time we were X age, we were going to stop.”

This was her recommendation for a lot of reasons, but mainly because it’s important to enjoy the life you’ve been given, not only the one you think you deserve.

We thought about it, and our cut off date was my 40th birthday. If we didn’t have kids/were pregnant by the time I turned 40, we were going to stop trying and live our best auntie/uncle life.

I had my daughter three months and eight days before my 40th birthday. I felt this huge sense of euphoria when it happened.

And then…that was it.

I reached this big life goal, similar to the goal I set for myself at 30 which was to sell a novel.

I made it. I had my big dream of being a Mom.

And…well, I hadn’t really thought beyond that point, TBH?

A lot of really smart people gave me some fantastic advice, and I’ve been working hard to follow it. The advice boils down to this:

Once you’ve achieved your big ambitious goal, you should take some time to enjoy it. You don’t need to set another one, create bigger and better milestones, search for meaning in something else. At your age, you’ve earned peace.

I have been trying to get published, get my degrees, secure a corporate leadership role, and have a baby for so long, that my life has been on overdrive since I was eighteen. I’ve had pockets and lulls of time where I’ve reflected on milestone achievements, plus the two years where I left corporate to focus on babies and books, but for the most part I’ve been busy (as my family, my husband, my best friends, and all of my writing colleagues tell me repeatedly).

I needed some reflection time, so I went to the city that inspired me.

And no, it wasn’t Edison, New Jersey.

When I was in high school, as soon as I was able to drive, I’d spend summers in New York. I’d park at my uncle’s place then take the train into Manhattan, sit in a cafe and write or read. I’d spend hours in the museums and walk through Central Park, or go to the New York Public Library. I was on the verge of the rest of my life during those summers.

And at 40, standing in the Met, walking through the New York Public Library, buying books and having coffees in tiny coffee shops, I was still on the verge of the rest of my life. I was just so lucky to have a family to come on this journey where we can explore possibilities together.

So happy birthday to me.

I’m not setting any goals, I’m not reaching for something bigger than what I’ve already achieved, and my plan (for right now) is to enjoy the life i’ve been given, not the one I think I deserve. Here is to my HEA. I’m so excited it’s here.

Thanks for sticking around and reading my books, and cheering me on, besties.

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If you want to come and say hello/see me this year, I’m still working on book tour things for Illusions of Fire, but I’ll be at Princeton Public Library’s DESI DAY in Princeton, NJ on May 17, and ALA in June as well as a few other author events over the summer with friends. My website is the best place to go for up to date information.

For those of you who have read Illusions of Fire from Netgalley or because of the Faecrate Special Edition, reviews are so helpful! Please consider leaving one so we can create buzz for the October release.

You can also preorder a signed and personalized copy at Doylestown Bookshop!

And for those of you who are not fantasy or YA fans, my next adult romance is THE LOTUS INN, a romantic suspense set in the Pocono Mountains in Pennsylvania.

There might be an indie release or two but anytime I bring up a date along with the third Singh Family trilogy book, I jinx myself and y’all go feral, so I’m no longer making promises.

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The next newsletter may have a little snippet from characters we’ve met before, so make sure you subscribe/follow along to read about them!

Lots of hugs,

Nisha